You Can't Have My Power

Recently, it feels like certain people in my life, people that I trusted, have gone out of their way to make me feel small, to prove to me that they don't really care about me. It made me realize that our "friendships" were just superficial, that once you got underneath the surface, there wasn't really anything there. It's something that I've been struggling with because I really thought that these people were my friends. But, over the course of my life, I've had to learn and re-learn a very hard and important lesson, that everybody doesn't always care about you the way that you care about them.

This has been especially hard for me to deal with because I'm just naturally a fiercely loyal friend. I'm that friend that you call at 3 o'clock in the morning because you're crying or you just need someone to talk to. I'm that friend that you call when you're drunk at a party and you can't drive home. I'm that friend that will be there for you every second of every day. I'm that friend that, even if we haven't talked in 10+ years, if you called me and said that you needed help, I'd be there for you. I will always pick up the phone and I will always be there. That's who I am and that's who I was raised to be. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

                                                  I'll always be able to count on Kelsey. :)

But on the other side of the coin, it leaves me very vulnerable to heartache and disappointment because, unfortunately, some people are only your "friends" on the surface. They say that you're their friend but when push comes to shove, they're not there for you. And you know what? It's a hard lesson to learn but I'm still glad that I learned it. I'd rather know who is a true friend and who isn't. It saves me from wasting even more of my time on them and allows me to focus on the people that truly care about me. And now I know without a doubt, who these few, select people are. The people that will always be there for me, without a doubt, without even a second thought and for that, I feel lucky.

Sisters and best friends for life. :)

For too much of my life, I have let people affect how I view myself and I refuse to be that person anymore. So if someone doesn't want to be a part of my life or someone doesn't want to be a true friend to me, I am better off without them and I will not let it negatively impact my life. Toxicity has no place in my life. You will no longer have the power to affect my self-esteem. You will no longer have the power to make me doubt myself. You will no longer have the power to make me cry. You will no longer have any power over me at all. All of that power is mine and I'm taking it back. I'm taking back complete and total control of my power and you know what? I feel sorry for you. I'm a really great friend and I truly would've done anything for you. I don't regret losing you but you're definitely going to regret losing me.

-Chelsea

P.S. If we were friends in the past, please know that even though I moved over a thousand miles away, I'm still rooting for you; I'm still in your corner. And if you ever need me, I'm still here for you, just a phone call away. And I genuinely mean that.