For the record, I wasn't pregnant. But even if I was, it wouldn't have been anyone's business. If I wanted to tell you, I would have. But the inappropriate questions didn't stop once I got married. People constantly asked me when I was going to have a baby. Some people even went as far as to tell me "It's what women do. They get married and then they have babies". I wasn't ready to have a baby yet and I didn't appreciate the insinuation that it was my "job" to do so. I didn't like the judgment that I got from people. They weren't going to raise the baby, so why was it their business to push me before I was ready? Pressuring someone to get pregnant is inappropriate on many levels because that decision is between the couple and the couple alone. But, on another note, some women can't conceive or have trouble conceiving. So, especially if you don't know the whole story, please keep that question to yourself.
But now that I am pregnant (just under 5 months), the inappropriate questions haven't stopped. Once I started telling people, I had many conversations that went like this:
Person: "What do you want to have?"
Me: "Excuse me?"
Person: "The baby. What kind do you want to have?"
Me: A healthy one.
Person: (Rolls eyes) "I know that but what do you want?"
Me: A healthy baby.
Person: "You know what I mean. Do you want a boy or a girl?"
Me: "Yeah, I do know what you meant. And I meant what I said. I don't care if I have a boy or a girl. I just want them to be healthy. That's all that matters."
My husband and I have both wanted kids for years but wanted to wait for the right time. Now that it is the right time and we both feel that we're ready, we're excited for the adventure of parenthood. But if we would've been unhappy with whatever gender our child would have ended up being, then that would've meant that we weren't ready for parenthood. A baby is a gift and I am beyond happy to know not only am I having a son but that he is healthy.
When my husband and I found out that we were having a boy about a week and a half ago, we were incredibly happy. The ultrasound tech told us that everything looked good and that he was developing nicely. I was filled with joy as I saw my son on the screen and even got to see him smile. We were very excited as we announced to our friends and family that we were having a boy. We received many congratulations messages and lots of support. But even then, some people still chose to ask us inappropriate questions and imply that I had a reason to be unhappy.
Person: "You found out the gender? What are you having?"
Me: "We're having a boy!"
Person: "Oh. Are you okay with that?"
Me: "Excuse me? What's that supposed to mean?"
Person: "Are you okay with not having a girl?"
Me: "I don't care about the gender. All I asked for was a healthy baby. I'm ecstatic to be having a boy."
My son is the greatest gift that I'll ever receive and he is by far the best thing that has ever happened to me. I am so lucky to be his mother. I'm lucky to be able to carry him. I'm lucky to be able to nurture him. And when he's here, I'll be lucky to raise him and help him become a man. Ever since I found out I was pregnant, I had a gut feeling that I was carrying a boy. And you know what? I was thrilled. I've wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember. So for people to imply that I would be upset that I was carrying a boy is extremely upsetting. The appropriate response when someone tells you that they are pregnant or for when they tell you the gender of their child is: "Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!"
So please, stop implying that I would love my son less than I would love a daughter. Please stop asking me if I'm "okay with" having a boy. Honestly, I couldn't be happier and I'm counting down the days until I get to meet him.
-Chelsea
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