Putting Myself Out There

I've always been someone that has had a low self-esteem and is super shy. Because of that, it makes it extremely hard to put myself out there and takes risks. Ever since Kelsey moved away, I've had to make adjustments, which to be honest, has been kind of difficult for me. When she lived here, we were inseparable. We didn't need anybody else because we had each other and that was more than enough.

But because she moved away, I've had to start over and try to find ways to make new friends. Honestly, that's never been something that I was good at. I grew up in a small town, the type of place where everybody knew everybody. I had no reason to put myself out there because everyone knew each other. Even then, I still clung to my two closest friends. I'm the type of person that likes only having a few key friends. I like having strong bonds with a few, select people but that's just my personal preference.

I knew that Kelsey's leaving would hit me hard but I didn't realize just how hard. She was such an amazing friend that it's weird to think about trying to replace her, even though I know that I can't really "replace" her. So I've had no choice but to put myself out there and try to meet some new people. That's always scary because you're allowing yourself to either be accepted or rejected by other people. And even though I've tried to make it work with some girls, it hasn't worked out in my favor. I was starting to get discouraged but I knew that I had to keep trying and not give up. I knew that eventually, things would get better.

And they have. I've met two girls recently that I really like and I could see us being really great friends. I haven't known them for very long but we're constantly texting and we're planning on getting together once one of them comes home from vacation. It's been hard and to be honest, the few times that meeting people didn't go well kind of bruised my ego but in the end, it'll be worth it. These things take time but that's okay, as long as I keep trying and keep putting myself out there.

-Chelsea