They Didn't Have to Be

One memory that has always stuck out to me happened when I was twelve years old, the night that our middle school play, "A Christmas Carol", premiered. I was playing the title role, Ebenezer Scrooge, and one of my friends was playing one of the ghosts. I remember us sitting in the auditorium together before the show, trying to calm our nerves. I reserved the whole first row of seats for my family and I asked my friend if she was going to reserve seats for her family as well. She said, "No, only my mom is coming." This caught me off-guard because I couldn't understand why her father wouldn't come. "Does your dad have to work tonight?" I asked. She shrugged and said, "No, he just never comes to anything." Since my parents literally came to every single event and performance that I was in, whether it was a chorus recital or a soccer game, I couldn't see why any other parents wouldn't do the same. She then said, "Don't worry. I'm used to it by now." But I could hear the disappointment in her voice and my heart broke for her.

It was then that I realized how lucky I was to have the type of hands-on parents that I did. I always knew that I was lucky. I had a very blessed childhood but I never realized just how lucky I was. As I got older, that feeling got stronger because I met more and more people who had much different experiences growing up than I did. Some had parents that never supported them. Some had parents that ignored them. Some had parents that didn't speak to them, etc. I became extremely aware that what was "normal" to me was a life that some kids wished for.

I've always been grateful for my parents but now that I'm older and I can look back on my childhood experiences, I am even more grateful, if that's possible. For as long as I can remember, my dad has had jobs that required him to get up at four in the morning so that he could get off at 2 p.m. He made the decision to work these hours so that he would be off early and have time to coach mine and my sister's various sports teams, mostly football, at night. Except for cheerleading, which my mother coached me in, my father coached me in every sport that I ever played. He wanted to make sure that he was involved in as much of my life as he could be. He never missed a second of my life outside of school and he became a second father-figure to the other girls on my teams, and unfortunately, there were quite a few who needed one. But he was happy to step into that role and be there not only for me but for my friends as well. And no matter how tired he got, he always let me know that he wouldn't change a thing about his life.

My mom was also always there for me whether it was on the bleachers at my sporting events or helping me navigate my teenage years and first few heartbreaks. She quit a job that she absolutely loved and thrived in because she knew that moving up in that company would mean sacrificing her time with me and my sister. And that was a sacrifice she wasn't willing to make. Also, for about 3 years of my childhood, she worked the night shift at her job. Since my sister and I were so active in sports, there were many days where my mother sacrificed sleep so that she could watch us play. She'll never know how much I appreciated that and everything else that she did for me. She's also told me many times that every sacrifice she made was worth it and that she'd do it again in a heartbeat if she needed to.

My parents always put me and my sister first, sometimes having to work two jobs to make sure that we were provided for. They always did the best that they could and never let us go without. Even now that they are divorced, they put aside their differences for the sake of my sister and I. I know plenty of other people who have divorced parents and their parents can't even be in the same room together. This puts a tremendous amount of stress on their child during special events like weddings and graduations, where both of the parents are present. This hasn't been an issue for me because my parents both recognized that they will be forever bonded because of my sister and I. So for our sakes, they get along and focus on what's important, not their differences but their children.

My dad once told me that "Some people are parents. But some people are just people that have kids". I didn't know what he meant at the time but now I do. Without a doubt, my mom and dad are parents and they were meant to be parents. I used to think that being a parent meant that you had to do all of the things that they did for me and my sister but I've learned that it doesn't. My parents chose to be involved, to make sacrifices and to support me in whatever endeavors I pursued.

So thank you, Mom and Dad, for being the parents that you didn't have to be, for being the parents that you chose to be. I only hope that whenever I have children, that I'll be half the parent that you guys were.

I love you,

Chelsea