Everything Happens for a Reason

Everyone knows the expression, "Everything happens for a reason". It's become so well-known that it's almost a cliché at this point. I think people don't even realize how often they say it. It's a comforting notion, that the universe is helping us along in our journeys and that it helps move our lives in the right direction. 

I'm not a religious person, so I don't subscribe to the idea that there is a fully thought-out plan for my life. But, especially for the past few years, I have believed that everything really does happen for a reason. And in my experience, it's usually been to teach me a lesson. For example, when my husband and I were originally stationed in Fort Drum, New York back in 2013, we weren't happy about it at all. Being born and raised in Florida, the idea of living just beneath the Canadian border was our own personal nightmare. We didn't know anything about driving in the snow. We needed to buy a whole new winter wardrobe. We would be 1,400 miles away from our families. Our families were constantly checking the weather and worrying about us during lake effect snowstorms. The list of problems went on an on. 

We were originally told that we were going to be stationed there for 3 years but we ended up staying there for 4 and a half. In the beginning, we couldn't wait to leave. The time passed slowly and we felt trapped. But my mother kept reminding me that I would only be as miserable as I would allow myself to be. I realized that I couldn't change my circumstances but I could change how I reacted to them. I ended up getting nannying jobs with some really wonderful kids. I discovered some incredibly beautiful wineries. I hiked mountains and found waterfalls. I met my best friend. I began pole dancing and met some of the most amazing friends that I've ever had. During my last year there, I discovered a small town called Clayton. It's truly a hidden gem. I fell in love with the town and everyone in it. Because I watched some of the kids there, I felt like I became part of the town and the family I worked for made me feel like I was a part of their family, especially during Kris' deployment. 

Looking back, I'm so happy that we ended up staying in Drum longer than we expected. Accepting my circumstances with a positive attitude really changed everything for me. I met the most incredible people that I never would've met otherwise and traveled the country with them. I got to live in and fall in love with a part of the world I never would've otherwise seen. Had we moved after 3 years, like we were originally supposed to, I never would've discovered Clayton or made the wonderful lifelong memories that I now have. I'm incredibly grateful for them and I miss Clayton so much every day. 

Living in New York taught me so much about myself and about life. It was one of the scariest things I've ever done. Moving 1,400 miles away from my family and my safety net was terrifying. I was thrust into adulthood and went from living at home with my parents to taking care of myself on the other end of the country. Learning to drive in the snow was petrifying. Living on my own in New York while Kris was deployed instead of going back home to Florida was a choice that I questioned most days while he was gone. But in the end, I'm so glad that I did all of those things. 

Doing all of that forced me to grow. Staying in my comfort zone would've been the worst thing that I could've done for myself and I'd never know what I know now. I'm so much more confident in myself and my independence. Now, I don't have any doubts that I could take care of myself, that I could make the best out of a bad situation or that I can adapt to a new place, regardless of whether or not I chose it. I am the person that I am today because I did the things that terrified me and forced me out of my comfort zone. In the end, I came out stronger because of it. I was meant to go to New York. I was meant to stay 4 and a half years. What I originally feared would be the worst time of my life was truly one of the best things that ever happened to me. Everything was meant to be and if there's one thing I've learned, it's that I might not always know what's best for me. I thought the best thing would've been for me to either stay in Florida or get out of New York as fast as possible. But I was wrong. I don't know everything and I didn't then, either. The universe knew what I needed and it provided it, as well as my clarity. I can truly say with assurance that everything does happen for a reason and what is meant to be will be. 

-Chelsea