Ever since I had my son, I've been asked a lot of weird questions. But the weirdest one by far is, "Will you be disappointed if he doesn't grow up to be exactly like you?"
No. Not in the slightest. There is no way that my son could ever be a disappointment, especially over something so trivial.
No. Not in the slightest. There is no way that my son could ever be a disappointment, especially over something so trivial.
I didn't have a child so that I could raise myself. My parents already did that. I'm raising my son and he's his own person. He's allowed to have his own likes, beliefs, hobbies, talents, etc. I don't want to raise him to be exactly like me. That would be so incredibly boring and unfair to him. But also, he's only a year old. How could I put expectations on him like that? How could I imply that he'd disappoint or upset me simply because he doesn't like what I like?
I'm so excited to see who he grows up to be, the most authentic version of himself. It's a journey that I'm loving so far and I know I'm blessed to be on it. As a parent, I don't want to put any limitations on him. I want him to know that I will support him no matter what he likes or wants to do. Unconditional love is just that, unconditional. A mother's love has no strings attached. I would never say that my love or acceptance of my child was dependent on anything because it isn't. And that's one thing that my son can count on. He never has to worry about my expectations of him because all I want is for him to be happy and know that he is loved, safe and accepted.
I once had a talk with my therapist about children being different from their parents. She explained, "When a woman is pregnant, people look at the mother and child as being the same person because they're sharing a body. Everything the mother does affects the baby. But once that baby is born, they're officially separated and they baby becomes their own person." And that's exactly how I feel. He's an individual and he should be treated as such. I don't need him to be a carbon-copy of me and I don't want that for him.
And that goes for anything. Earlier today, I took him to story time at the library and the librarian let the kids play with drumsticks. My son loved them. He normally responds very well to toys that make music, as well. And I got to thinking, what if one day he grows up to be a musician? How amazing would that be? I don't know how to play a single instrument and it would make me prouder than you can imagine if he had a skill or talent that I didn't have.
As a parent, I don't want my son to be like me. I want him to be better than me. I want him to have skills, talents and opportunities that I didn't have. For all I know, he might grow up to be the exact opposite of me. He could hate to read and write. He could hate football or sports in general. He could be confident and outspoken. And I wouldn't change it. I would accept him for who he is, the best thing that's ever happened to me and my favorite person.
And that, just like my unconditional love for him, will never change.
-Chelsea
