My grandparents were married for over thirty years before my grandfather passed away in 1989. During their time together, they experienced all of the trials and tribulations that life had to offer them and had five children along the way. Three of those five children ended up having children, continuing the family line. My father was the youngest of those five boys and married my mother when he was 20 years old.
A few years later, I came along and a few years after that came my sister. For years, we were all blissfully happy together and I legitimately thought that I was the luckiest kid alive. I was raised in an extremely loving environment and constantly told my friends that my parents would be together forever. Unfortunately, that isn't what happened. People tend to look at divorce as a failed marriage but I don't see it that way.
My parents grew apart and that happens. It's life. I still believe that when they did eventually separate that they still had love for each other in their hearts. But life doesn't always work out the way that you want it to and you have to take the good with the bad. Do I wish that my parents were still together? Sometimes. But does the fact that they're not mean that their marriage was a failure? Absolutely not. Saying that would take away every wonderful and positive thing that happened because of their marriage and that would be an absolute shame. The joy and love that was created through their marriage was and is still bigger than their divorce will ever be.
When I look back on my life, I think about the examples that I was given and about what family really means. My parents' marriage taught me to be respectful to my partner, to communicate my feelings, to always stand up for what I want, to always put the kids first, etc. My parents taught me that if you are going to commit to something, you gotta give it your all.
I can't look at my parents' marriage and see a failure. Because do you know what I see? The purity of young love and hopefulness. A couple's determination to fight through the rough, formative years of their young 20s. The birth of me and my sister. A couple that never missed a single football game or chorus recital. A family that encouraged dreaming big and reaching for the stars. I see a father who spent hours building a jungle gym for me and my sister in the dark so that we could wake up to it on Christmas morning. I see a mother who spent years working the night shift at a job to help my family make end's meet, who still found a way to wake up during the day and take care of my sister and I.
Everything that has ever happened to my sister and I is only possible because my parents fell in love and took a chance on that love. And everything that they experienced and learned was only possible because their parents fell in love. Now, I'm starting a family of my own and my husband and I will be creating new memories with our son. And we will strive to give our son the best childhood and examples that we can, just like my parents did with me. My son wouldn't be here if my husband and I didn't take a chance on our own love. Our son was created out of that love and will relish in that love, just as I did with my parents and extended family growing up. Taking a chance on love was something that just felt natural to me and has given me the greatest gifts and adventures of my life. But hey, I guess it was in my blood, right?
-Chelsea
