#MeToo

The hashtag #MeToo has been all over social media for the past few days. For those of you who don't know, it is a movement that helps spread awareness for how many women have been sexually harassed or assaulted. The idea is that if women say "me too" that we will realize just how big the problem is.

I posted #MeToo on my Facebook page but to be honest, I almost didn't. I was embarrassed and for a minute I thought, what if the experiences that made me feel uncomfortable aren't valid? And then I realized that every single person that experiences sexual assault and sexual harassment is valid. Every person counts, no matter what. I think that sexual assault and harassment are not taken seriously enough in mainstream culture. But I cannot tell you how many people on Facebook, Twitter, etc., have said #MeToo. I applaud everyone's bravery and because of the countless people that have posted it, I know that this movement is working. People are talking about sexual harassment and assault. People are becoming aware of just how many women are sexually assaulted and harassed, whether it happened once or dozens of times. And every time that someone posts it, there is support. Some girls were brave enough to share their stories and it started a conversation that said our culture needs to get better at protecting each other.

As a female, I've experienced a lot of sexual harassment and some sexual assault but unfortunately, no repercussions ever came for those men that did those things to me. I worry not only about myself but also about my friends, my family, my little sister and my future kids. This is not the world that I want my future kids to grow up in, a world where people think that treating women like that is acceptable or funny.

So I am taking this opportunity to share SOME of my experiences with you all in an attempt to finally call out the men that did those unacceptable things to me. It is not okay and it never was okay.

To the guy in the produce section of my grocery store that came up behind me and grabbed my butt without permission

To the guy that followed me to my car every night after work and tried to convince me to sleep with him 

To the guy that grabbed my breast at work 

To the guy that came up behind me and groped me at my friend's birthday party 

To the boyfriend who tried to force me to sleep with him because he said "I owed it" to him 

To the boy that used to "joke" that he was going to rape me

Society has taught women to be silent when these things happen to us. Or to just ignore it. Or to "stop being so dramatic". Or "boys will be boys". No. Boys won't be boys. That is not, nor has it ever been, a valid excuse for this kind of behavior that falls on countless girls every day. There is no excuse and we will no longer be silent. We live in a culture where when a woman says she's been sexually harassed or assaulted, the first question people ask is "Well, what were you wearing?" Or they say something like "You were asking for it."

Sexual assault and harassment are not jokes and they shouldn't be treated like they are. I can guarantee you that when I was 13 years old and walking home from my local grocery store, I didn't "ask" to be followed by creepy men in their car all the way to the end of my street. And what a person's wearing has nothing to do with anything. If we "wanted it", it wouldn't be called assault or harassment. News flash, people. Those words mean that we didn't want it.

So no more excuses. No more blaming women. No more believing that "boys will be boys". I know that not every man is like this but it's time to call out the men that are. It's time to speak up about this issue and realize that it is a much bigger problem than most people think. I am absolutely heartbroken over reading my friends' and family members' stories and it's time to make sure that no other girl ever has a story like that again. Don't you think?

Me too.

-Chelsea

An Unexpected Blessing

Today my husband and I drove to one of our favorite breakfast spots and picked a random table to down at. A few minutes later,  an old man sat down at the table directly next to ours. He was eating alone and reading the newspaper but he kept glancing at Kris and I. After we finished our breakfast, Kris went to the front of the restaurant to pay for our food and I smiled at him. The old man caught my smile, glanced at my wedding ring and asked, "How long have you been married? I'm only asking because you look really happy."

I answered him and we chatted while I waited for Kris. When he came back, the old man added him to the conversation. Before we knew it, we were whisked into a beautiful conversation about love, miracles,  faith, happiness and the joys of having a family. Talking to this man was so easy and we could tell by the look in his eyes and the smile on his face that he really appreciated that we took the time to talk to him.

He told us about many intimate, important aspects of his life, like the death of his son, the death of both of his wives and what he was passionate about. In return, we told him stories about our lives that we thought would make him smile. As we told him about our lives, the smile never left his face.

By the time that the conversation was over and it was time to leave, he thanked us for talking to him, thanked my husband for his service and said, "God bless you both." He walked away from that conversation with tears in the corner of his eyes and a huge smile lighting up his face.
It felt like he really needed to have that conversation and was grateful to have the chance to have it with people that were willing to listen. It felt so incredibly good to know that my husband and I had given him that happiness.

By just taking an hour of our time to talk to him, we made him feel good, which made us feel even better. This spontaneous conversation made me realize just how good it feels to make someone else happy, even if that person is a stranger. So as we walked out of that restaurant, Kris and I couldn't help but feel blessed to know that we were a part of that and we felt so incredibly lucky to have met him. It just goes to show that something as simple as talking to someone else can make a difference and that it's truly the little things in life that matter. We went into the restaurant for breakfast and left with a blessing and happiness that we couldn't have anticipated.

-Chelsea

Staying in Touch

I'm a firm believer that relationships are work, whether they are romantic relationships or friendships. But I don't think that's a bad thing. In fact, I actually think the opposite. I think it's a really good thing. If you're working on a relationship, it means that you're making sure that you stay a part of that person's life. For example, ever since Kelsey moved away, we've been keeping in touch with each other. We mostly talk through text messages but there have also been phone calls as well as Face-time chats. I even went to go visit her new place in Kentucky a few months ago. (Click here to read about it). We've talked about trying to take another vacation together some time in the future as well. We're always talking and keeping each other up-to-date on what's going on in our lives. To me, that shows me just how important I am to her and vice versa. Even though we now live over 1,000 miles away from each other, we're still doing our best to maintain our friendship and make sure that it's just as strong as ever. To me, that's true friendship. We aren't letting the distance come between us.

I understand that life goes on and people get busy. It's not practical to think that I'll be in constant communication with my friends and I don't. That goes for my other friends as well. I still consider myself friends with many of the people that I left behind when I moved out of Florida. We talk when we can and meet up whenever I come down for a visit.

But it really shows me how close Kelsey and I are because we are still making that effort to be there for each other. And I know that we always will. I have no doubt that if I called her at 2 a.m. and told her that I needed her that she'd figure out a way to be there for me. And she knows that I would do the same for her in a heartbeat.

I still miss her like crazy every day and life hasn't been the same since she left. There is nobody that can ever replace her. And it feels really good to know that she's still my best friend and that she's still there for me no matter what. When people move away, most of the time they promise to keep in touch with the people that they leave behind. In my opinion, it's a rarity and a gift when they come through on those promises. I'm so appreciative that I found someone that did. I always knew that Kelsey was a special friend and that I was blessed to have her in my life. Her effort to hold onto our friendship proves that I was right.

-Chelsea

Feeling Thankful

Of course, you guys all know that Thanksgiving is upon us! It's just three days away and I'm so ready for everything, and by everything, I mean yummy food!

But Thanksgiving is always a reflective time, when people really sit down and think about what it is in life that they're grateful for. And as a person who follows quite a few blogs, I've been seeing a lot of new posts about it. So, in the Thanksgiving/blogging spirit, I figured that I'd do one myself!

What am I thankful for? 

1. My family- Of course, right? I love them to pieces and I'm very thankful for the blessed life that I've had with them. I'm also thankful that Kristopher is now officially a part of my family.

2. My health- When teams of doctors tell you that you'll be sick for the rest of your life and then a medical miracle happens, which results in you getting your health back, you learn to really appreciate your health.

3. Coffee- I seriously don't know how I'd function in life without this stuff.

4. Disney trips- They help me forget about how lonely I feel while Kristopher is away and allow me to create lasting memories with my family before I move. I'm also pretty thankful for the smiles that they leave on my face every single time I go.

5. Blogger- I am so grateful that I get to share my thoughts and experiences with the world via Blogger. And it's free, which I LOVE! Blogging is my new favorite hobby!

6. Books- There is nothing like curling up with a good book, some coffee and some imagination. It's my favorite relaxation technique. I'm also thankful that I get to write my own books.

7. Army life- Although it's the hardest thing that I've ever had to go through, I am so thankful that I'm an army wife. And I'm so grateful that one day I'll be able to be a part of the wonderful adventure that is army life.

I am thankful for everything in my life but if I listed it all, I'd be here all day!

What are you all thankful for?

-Chelsea