One memory that has always stuck out to me happened when I was twelve years old, the night that our middle school play, "A Christmas Carol", premiered. I was playing the title role, Ebenezer Scrooge, and one of my friends was playing one of the ghosts. I remember us sitting in the auditorium together before the show, trying to calm our nerves. I reserved the whole first row of seats for my family and I asked my friend if she was going to reserve seats for her family as well. She said, "No, only my mom is coming." This caught me off-guard because I couldn't understand why her father wouldn't come. "Does your dad have to work tonight?" I asked. She shrugged and said, "No, he just never comes to anything." Since my parents literally came to every single event and performance that I was in, whether it was a chorus recital or a soccer game, I couldn't see why any other parents wouldn't do the same. She then said, "Don't worry. I'm used to it by now." But I could hear the disappointment in her voice and my heart broke for her.
It was then that I realized how lucky I was to have the type of hands-on parents that I did. I always knew that I was lucky. I had a very blessed childhood but I never realized just how lucky I was. As I got older, that feeling got stronger because I met more and more people who had much different experiences growing up than I did. Some had parents that never supported them. Some had parents that ignored them. Some had parents that didn't speak to them, etc. I became extremely aware that what was "normal" to me was a life that some kids wished for.
I've always been grateful for my parents but now that I'm older and I can look back on my childhood experiences, I am even more grateful, if that's possible. For as long as I can remember, my dad has had jobs that required him to get up at four in the morning so that he could get off at 2 p.m. He made the decision to work these hours so that he would be off early and have time to coach mine and my sister's various sports teams, mostly football, at night. Except for cheerleading, which my mother coached me in, my father coached me in every sport that I ever played. He wanted to make sure that he was involved in as much of my life as he could be. He never missed a second of my life outside of school and he became a second father-figure to the other girls on my teams, and unfortunately, there were quite a few who needed one. But he was happy to step into that role and be there not only for me but for my friends as well. And no matter how tired he got, he always let me know that he wouldn't change a thing about his life.
My mom was also always there for me whether it was on the bleachers at my sporting events or helping me navigate my teenage years and first few heartbreaks. She quit a job that she absolutely loved and thrived in because she knew that moving up in that company would mean sacrificing her time with me and my sister. And that was a sacrifice she wasn't willing to make. Also, for about 3 years of my childhood, she worked the night shift at her job. Since my sister and I were so active in sports, there were many days where my mother sacrificed sleep so that she could watch us play. She'll never know how much I appreciated that and everything else that she did for me. She's also told me many times that every sacrifice she made was worth it and that she'd do it again in a heartbeat if she needed to.
My parents always put me and my sister first, sometimes having to work two jobs to make sure that we were provided for. They always did the best that they could and never let us go without. Even now that they are divorced, they put aside their differences for the sake of my sister and I. I know plenty of other people who have divorced parents and their parents can't even be in the same room together. This puts a tremendous amount of stress on their child during special events like weddings and graduations, where both of the parents are present. This hasn't been an issue for me because my parents both recognized that they will be forever bonded because of my sister and I. So for our sakes, they get along and focus on what's important, not their differences but their children.
My dad once told me that "Some people are parents. But some people are just people that have kids". I didn't know what he meant at the time but now I do. Without a doubt, my mom and dad are parents and they were meant to be parents. I used to think that being a parent meant that you had to do all of the things that they did for me and my sister but I've learned that it doesn't. My parents chose to be involved, to make sacrifices and to support me in whatever endeavors I pursued.
So thank you, Mom and Dad, for being the parents that you didn't have to be, for being the parents that you chose to be. I only hope that whenever I have children, that I'll be half the parent that you guys were.
I love you,
Chelsea
This is a blog where you'll get to know the real me. The good, the bad and everything in between. I'm using this blog to document my life experiences, my thoughts and my memories. So come on this little journey with me. I'd love to have you. Just promise me that you will only promote positivity on this blog and I promise that I'll be me, unapologetically.
Thursday, April 20, 2017
Monday, February 13, 2017
You Can't Have My Power
Recently, it feels like certain people in my life, people that I trusted, have gone out of their way to make me feel small, to prove to me that they don't really care about me. It made me realize that our "friendships" were just superficial, that once you got underneath the surface, there wasn't really anything there. It's something that I've been struggling with because I really thought that these people were my friends. But, over the course of my life, I've had to learn and re-learn a very hard and important lesson, that everybody doesn't always care about you the way that you care about them.
This has been especially hard for me to deal with because I'm just naturally a fiercely loyal friend. I'm that friend that you call at 3 o'clock in the morning because you're crying or you just need someone to talk to. I'm that friend that you call when you're drunk at a party and you can't drive home. I'm that friend that will be there for you every second of every day. I'm that friend that, even if we haven't talked in 10+ years, if you called me and said that you needed help, I'd be there for you. I will always pick up the phone and I will always be there. That's who I am and that's who I was raised to be. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
I'll always be able to count on Kelsey. :)
But on the other side of the coin, it leaves me very vulnerable to heartache and disappointment because, unfortunately, some people are only your "friends" on the surface. They say that you're their friend but when push comes to shove, they're not there for you. And you know what? It's a hard lesson to learn but I'm still glad that I learned it. I'd rather know who is a true friend and who isn't. It saves me from wasting even more of my time on them and allows me to focus on the people that truly care about me. And now I know without a doubt, who these few, select people are. The people that will always be there for me, without a doubt, without even a second thought and for that, I feel lucky.
For too much of my life, I have let people affect how I view myself and I refuse to be that person anymore. So if someone doesn't want to be a part of my life or someone doesn't want to be a true friend to me, I am better off without them and I will not let it negatively impact my life. Toxicity has no place in my life. You will no longer have the power to affect my self-esteem. You will no longer have the power to make me doubt myself. You will no longer have the power to make me cry. You will no longer have any power over me at all. All of that power is mine and I'm taking it back. I'm taking back complete and total control of my power and you know what? I feel sorry for you. I'm a really great friend and I truly would've done anything for you. I don't regret losing you but you're definitely going to regret losing me.
-Chelsea
P.S. If we were friends in the past, please know that even though I moved over a thousand miles away, I'm still rooting for you; I'm still in your corner. And if you ever need me, I'm still here for you, just a phone call away. And I genuinely mean that.
This has been especially hard for me to deal with because I'm just naturally a fiercely loyal friend. I'm that friend that you call at 3 o'clock in the morning because you're crying or you just need someone to talk to. I'm that friend that you call when you're drunk at a party and you can't drive home. I'm that friend that will be there for you every second of every day. I'm that friend that, even if we haven't talked in 10+ years, if you called me and said that you needed help, I'd be there for you. I will always pick up the phone and I will always be there. That's who I am and that's who I was raised to be. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
I'll always be able to count on Kelsey. :)
But on the other side of the coin, it leaves me very vulnerable to heartache and disappointment because, unfortunately, some people are only your "friends" on the surface. They say that you're their friend but when push comes to shove, they're not there for you. And you know what? It's a hard lesson to learn but I'm still glad that I learned it. I'd rather know who is a true friend and who isn't. It saves me from wasting even more of my time on them and allows me to focus on the people that truly care about me. And now I know without a doubt, who these few, select people are. The people that will always be there for me, without a doubt, without even a second thought and for that, I feel lucky.
Sisters and best friends for life. :)
For too much of my life, I have let people affect how I view myself and I refuse to be that person anymore. So if someone doesn't want to be a part of my life or someone doesn't want to be a true friend to me, I am better off without them and I will not let it negatively impact my life. Toxicity has no place in my life. You will no longer have the power to affect my self-esteem. You will no longer have the power to make me doubt myself. You will no longer have the power to make me cry. You will no longer have any power over me at all. All of that power is mine and I'm taking it back. I'm taking back complete and total control of my power and you know what? I feel sorry for you. I'm a really great friend and I truly would've done anything for you. I don't regret losing you but you're definitely going to regret losing me.
-Chelsea
P.S. If we were friends in the past, please know that even though I moved over a thousand miles away, I'm still rooting for you; I'm still in your corner. And if you ever need me, I'm still here for you, just a phone call away. And I genuinely mean that.
Monday, January 9, 2017
Currently (2)
I cannot believe that it's been over a year since I've posted another "Currently" post. I really need to start posting on a more regular basis, that way I can look back on my life and know exactly what was going on at that time. So, for those of you that are interested, here is what is currently going on in my life!
Currently:
Currently:
- Reading: Hard Times by Charles Dickens. I haven't read as many classics as I believe that I should have, so I decided to pick one up that last time that I was at Barnes and Noble. I'm just over 100 pages in and I'm really liking it so far. I knew that picking up another Dickens novel was a good idea, since I read Oliver Twist years ago and loved it so much. Next to Jane Austen, I'd say that Dickens is one of my all-time favorite classic novelists.
- Watching: Lately, I've been going back and forth between a few shows on Netflix, "Blue Bloods", "The Originals", and "Lipstick Jungle".
- Studying: English Literature.
- Loving: Practicing for my next pole dancing competition. This time around, I am doing an entertainment piece and I'm having a lot of fun with it. It's a little bit more stressful this time because I've had much less time to practice and I signed up for a level up. But I did it because I love a challenge. I get to be silly with this performance, which is more of my style anyway. So I'm hoping that next month, I'll do even better than I did in October!
- Writing: I am trying to write more blog posts as I am astounded by the lack of posts that I put up last year. I am toying around with some new story ideas as well.
- Feeling: Anxious. Very soon, Kris is going to be gone for a little while on a business trip and I hate the idea of being without him for so long. I know that I'll be fine, I just like it better when he's around. But I'm going to try to use the time that he's away to be productive and to focus on myself.
- Excited for: My pole competition!
-Chelsea
Thursday, January 5, 2017
Five Things
So today I discovered Allison's blog while I was on Bloglovin' today and I found her to be absolutely hilarious and loveable. I started reading some of her recent posts and found one titled Three Things. She said that she got the idea from some other bloggers and wanted to give it a try. I enjoyed reading her post because I got to know interesting little tidbits about her that I probably wouldn't have learned otherwise. So I decided that I'd like to try a similar post but I thought that it'd be fun to challenge myself to come up with five things instead of three things.
This post is pretty self-explanatory, so please just enjoy learning some obscure little details about me.
Five things that I'm grateful for: My family, my friends, my job, books and my health
Five musical artists/bands that I love/have loved for a long time: Maroon 5, Huey Lewis and the News, Drew Seeley, Kenny Chesney, Hilary Duff
Five TV shows that I've watched and loved: Friday Night Lights, Parenthood, Private Practice, White Collar and Bones
Five series that I've read: Flowers in the Attic, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Vampire Academy, The Infernal Devices
Five musicals that I love: Aladdin, Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella, Legally Blonde, Beauty and the Beast and Anything Goes
Five websites that I visit regularly: Facebook, YouTube, Pinterest, Bloglovin' and Goodreads
Five states that I want to visit: Louisiana, Alaska, California, Massachusetts and Texas
Five Disney movies that I love: Aladdin, The Little Mermaid, Hercules, Mulan and Mary Poppins
Five goals: Publish a book, become a mom, travel to Europe, blog more, win a pole dancing competition
What are your answers to these questions? Or just five random things that you'd like to tell me about yourself?
-Chelsea
This post is pretty self-explanatory, so please just enjoy learning some obscure little details about me.
Five things that I'm grateful for: My family, my friends, my job, books and my health
Five musical artists/bands that I love/have loved for a long time: Maroon 5, Huey Lewis and the News, Drew Seeley, Kenny Chesney, Hilary Duff
Five TV shows that I've watched and loved: Friday Night Lights, Parenthood, Private Practice, White Collar and Bones
Five series that I've read: Flowers in the Attic, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Vampire Academy, The Infernal Devices
Five musicals that I love: Aladdin, Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella, Legally Blonde, Beauty and the Beast and Anything Goes
Five websites that I visit regularly: Facebook, YouTube, Pinterest, Bloglovin' and Goodreads
Five states that I want to visit: Louisiana, Alaska, California, Massachusetts and Texas
Five Disney movies that I love: Aladdin, The Little Mermaid, Hercules, Mulan and Mary Poppins
Five goals: Publish a book, become a mom, travel to Europe, blog more, win a pole dancing competition
What are your answers to these questions? Or just five random things that you'd like to tell me about yourself?
-Chelsea
Friday, November 11, 2016
An Unexpected Blessing
Today my husband and I drove to one of our favorite breakfast spots and picked a random table to down at. A few minutes later, an old man sat down at the table directly next to ours. He was eating alone and reading the newspaper but he kept glancing at Kris and I. After we finished our breakfast, Kris went to the front of the restaurant to pay for our food and I smiled at him. The old man caught my smile, glanced at my wedding ring and asked, "How long have you been married? I'm only asking because you look really happy."
I answered him and we chatted while I waited for Kris. When he came back, the old man added him to the conversation. Before we knew it, we were whisked into a beautiful conversation about love, miracles, faith, happiness and the joys of having a family. Talking to this man was so easy and we could tell by the look in his eyes and the smile on his face that he really appreciated that we took the time to talk to him.
He told us about many intimate, important aspects of his life, like the death of his son, the death of both of his wives and what he was passionate about. In return, we told him stories about our lives that we thought would make him smile. As we told him about our lives, the smile never left his face.
By the time that the conversation was over and it was time to leave, he thanked us for talking to him, thanked my husband for his service and said, "God bless you both." He walked away from that conversation with tears in the corner of his eyes and a huge smile lighting up his face.
It felt like he really needed to have that conversation and was grateful to have the chance to have it with people that were willing to listen. It felt so incredibly good to know that my husband and I had given him that happiness.
By just taking an hour of our time to talk to him, we made him feel good, which made us feel even better. This spontaneous conversation made me realize just how good it feels to make someone else happy, even if that person is a stranger. So as we walked out of that restaurant, Kris and I couldn't help but feel blessed to know that we were a part of that and we felt so incredibly lucky to have met him. It just goes to show that something as simple as talking to someone else can make a difference and that it's truly the little things in life that matter. We went into the restaurant for breakfast and left with a blessing and happiness that we couldn't have anticipated.
-Chelsea
I answered him and we chatted while I waited for Kris. When he came back, the old man added him to the conversation. Before we knew it, we were whisked into a beautiful conversation about love, miracles, faith, happiness and the joys of having a family. Talking to this man was so easy and we could tell by the look in his eyes and the smile on his face that he really appreciated that we took the time to talk to him.
He told us about many intimate, important aspects of his life, like the death of his son, the death of both of his wives and what he was passionate about. In return, we told him stories about our lives that we thought would make him smile. As we told him about our lives, the smile never left his face.
By the time that the conversation was over and it was time to leave, he thanked us for talking to him, thanked my husband for his service and said, "God bless you both." He walked away from that conversation with tears in the corner of his eyes and a huge smile lighting up his face.
It felt like he really needed to have that conversation and was grateful to have the chance to have it with people that were willing to listen. It felt so incredibly good to know that my husband and I had given him that happiness.
By just taking an hour of our time to talk to him, we made him feel good, which made us feel even better. This spontaneous conversation made me realize just how good it feels to make someone else happy, even if that person is a stranger. So as we walked out of that restaurant, Kris and I couldn't help but feel blessed to know that we were a part of that and we felt so incredibly lucky to have met him. It just goes to show that something as simple as talking to someone else can make a difference and that it's truly the little things in life that matter. We went into the restaurant for breakfast and left with a blessing and happiness that we couldn't have anticipated.
-Chelsea
Saturday, October 15, 2016
My First Pole Dancing Competition
One week ago, my friends and I packed up our cars and made our way down to Connecticut to compete in the 2016 Northeast Pole Championships. For most of us, it was our first competition and we couldn't have been more nervous or excited.
I'd never done anything like this in my entire life. I grew up playing sports like football and soccer, games that needed a full team. But with this routine, I'd be competing all by myself. I competed on Sunday, while almost all of my friends competed on Saturday. I must admit that I was a little jealous of them. I was so nervous and my nerves seemed to grow by the minute. Part of me just wanted to get the routine over with while the other part of me wanted to savor every possible second of the experience.
I was even more nervous because there were many more people in my category as there were in my friends' categories. So I tried telling myself that since there wasn't a great chance that I'd win, that I should just try to take the pressure off of myself and enjoy my performance. But then I felt bad because I didn't want to go into the competition thinking that I wasn't going to win. So I reminded myself that it didn't matter if I won or lost. What mattered is that I spent months working incredibly hard on this routine and that I was doing something that was completely out of my comfort zone. I've loved pole dancing from the second that I started doing it but having the courage to actually compete was something that I never actually thought that I'd attain. Even now, a week later, I'm still a little surprised that I actually did it. Sometimes it feels like a dream.
I was so afraid that I was going to fall on stage or mess us drastically but I didn't. Sure, the routine wasn't perfect. I had a few small hiccups but nothing really even noticeable to anyone but me and my instructor. I am incredibly proud of myself for even competing, even though I didn't win or place. I know that I left my heart and soul on that stage and that I did the best that I possibly could have.
I'm also really glad that I went just because it was a really amazing, fun road trip with some great memories and even better friends. I'll never forget them and all of the laughs, wine and good times that we shared together. I know that when I'm older I'll look back on this experience and feel really lucky that I got to do what I loved to do with some really fantastic people. I'm so glad that we all pushed ourselves and grew together.
And I can't wait to compete again.
-Chelsea
I'd never done anything like this in my entire life. I grew up playing sports like football and soccer, games that needed a full team. But with this routine, I'd be competing all by myself. I competed on Sunday, while almost all of my friends competed on Saturday. I must admit that I was a little jealous of them. I was so nervous and my nerves seemed to grow by the minute. Part of me just wanted to get the routine over with while the other part of me wanted to savor every possible second of the experience.
Category: Dramatic, Level 2
Song: Daylight by Maroon 5
I was even more nervous because there were many more people in my category as there were in my friends' categories. So I tried telling myself that since there wasn't a great chance that I'd win, that I should just try to take the pressure off of myself and enjoy my performance. But then I felt bad because I didn't want to go into the competition thinking that I wasn't going to win. So I reminded myself that it didn't matter if I won or lost. What mattered is that I spent months working incredibly hard on this routine and that I was doing something that was completely out of my comfort zone. I've loved pole dancing from the second that I started doing it but having the courage to actually compete was something that I never actually thought that I'd attain. Even now, a week later, I'm still a little surprised that I actually did it. Sometimes it feels like a dream.
I was so afraid that I was going to fall on stage or mess us drastically but I didn't. Sure, the routine wasn't perfect. I had a few small hiccups but nothing really even noticeable to anyone but me and my instructor. I am incredibly proud of myself for even competing, even though I didn't win or place. I know that I left my heart and soul on that stage and that I did the best that I possibly could have.
I'm also really glad that I went just because it was a really amazing, fun road trip with some great memories and even better friends. I'll never forget them and all of the laughs, wine and good times that we shared together. I know that when I'm older I'll look back on this experience and feel really lucky that I got to do what I loved to do with some really fantastic people. I'm so glad that we all pushed ourselves and grew together.
And I can't wait to compete again.
-Chelsea
Wednesday, July 27, 2016
Exploring the North Country!
Being someone that was raised in South Florida, I didn't grow up around waterfalls. I saw a few on some of my family vacations but that was about it. Kris and I have lived up North for over two years now and we've been told that there are over sixty waterfalls within a 4 hour radius of our house. We've seen a few over the past few years but over the past few weeks, I've decided to see as many of them as I possibly can. I know that we won't live up here forever, so I want to take advantage of all of the beauty and wonder that this place has to offer. So Kris and I have made a concerted effort to see more waterfalls lately and I'm so glad that we did. They are truly some of the most beautiful places that I've ever seen and these photos do not do them justice.
This is one of my absolute favorite photos of Kris.
These are just a few of my favorite photos! I hope that you've enjoyed them!
-Chelsea
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)